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Transformation Couples

Has anyone ever noticed how many great couples are involved in the topic of transformation? We interviewed three of them individually. They talk about each other's strengths and weaknesses, about the biggest friction points, what makes them a dream team regardless and how to transform a marriage

Alexander Kluge & Sabine Kluge

What exactly do you do?

At Kluge Konsorten we accompany people and organizations in the digital and cultural transformation – either selectively, but even more so with an integrated concept and implementation of contemporary organizational, strategic, leadership and personnel development.

What she/he can do better than me

HE: She can cook like a goddess, always remembers all the names and song lyrics, can conceptualize excellently and is simply a great woman.

SHE: Alexander is calmer, more relaxed and more patient than I am.

Greatest friction point

HE: She continuously optimizes the timetable, I would like to have a fixed schedule at least 24 hours in advance.

SHE: Rarely, but nevertheless... My often rapid enthusiasm, which also leads to fast activity and implementation, without having the patience to coordinate or explain myself, might cause friction. Alexander is often a little more ‘thoughtful’ and it sometimes takes a while before we share the enthusiasm.

Why we are (nevertheless) a great team

HE: No ‘nevertheless’. Because we complement each other perfectly, get enthusiastic about topics and then reach our goal together. And we see points of friction as opportunities for further development.

SHE: Because we both have an unwavering enormous respect for each other and are convinced that the ideas of the other always make sense.

How to transform a marriage/relationship

HE: With humility. With consideration and attentiveness to each other and for each other. With love and respect.

SHE: By rekindling good times again and again, by remembering them and expressing those memories, by visiting places that we have experienced positively together and that remind us of good times. By assuring ourselves constantly of the initial magic of shared love. Additionally, talking together about the relationship is an important foundation for being and remaining connected. Both of us discuss the things we take for granted, but most of the time we don't talk about how much we enjoy being with the other person and how much we enjoy life by the other person’s side.

Sophia Rödiger & Lukas Fütterer

What exactly do you do?

With MountainMinds, we accompany organizations and leaders systemically in their transformation towards digital leadership in networks with mindfulness. Our belief: if we enhance our awareness to create interventions on structural and behavioral level, the transformation will succeed mindfully and digitally. Definitely more sustainable than simply writing a ‘new mindset’ on PowerPoint slides.

What she/he can do better than me

HE: Sophia is my role model for creativity and discipline. Every day, I learn from her to take innovative paths and consistently pursue important goals. This ranges from her truly perfect workshop design and ingenious visualizations to her interior design at home and her sports ambition to run best ever times in a half marathon.

SHE: Networking. Lukas has a gift for bringing the right people together – whether in organizations or at a veggie barbecue in the evening. He is also better at everything that has to do with detailed planning, from contracts, taxes and new tools to setting up our company. Lukas thinks everything through to the end, while I constantly have new, wild thoughts.

Biggest friction point

HE: Pleasure versus discipline. While I can enjoy good food combined with extensive socializing or spend a whole day in our campervan, Sophia is full of energy and sometimes forgets to eat properly. Perhaps I would weigh 15 kilos more without her and she would starve without me. In any case, it's good that we complement each other in this.

SHE: Does design follow function or the other way around? I'm a purist and need a lot of empty space, clear lines and simple design: this way I can work, live and be creative. Everything else causes chaos and anxiety in my head. Lukas really has to make many compromises here, because for him it's all about practicality, function and quick access. Unfortunately, it doesn't work when I stash everything in the bed drawer or in decorative boxes, or sell stuff on eBay.

Why we are (nevertheless) a great team

HE: We have already mastered so many challenges together in recent years that I am convinced that Sophia and I can do anything. I appreciate the different strengths that we combine together. With Sophia in the team, our everyday life in Stuttgart, our work with MountainMinds and regular trips to the mountains can be wonderfully organized.

SHE: Through him I have learned to start the day in a less spontaneous and improvised way, which means I plan my calendar more precisely to be better prepared and more relaxed. Lukas brings out the best in me, and without him I would not have become so much stronger in my personal transformations and crises in life. Nor would I have dared to free-ride finished so many half-marathons. Our company MountainMinds is special, because we have combined our strengths and passions to create an USP in transformation consulting.

How to transform a marriage/relationship

HE: Gratitude in two aspects: for the many facets in our lives that connect us, and for also the different perspectives that allow us to learn from each other. For me, a good relationship means actively choosing each other anew every day. This works especially well in a constant honest exchange, with mindfulness and consistent further development – individually and as a couple.

SHE: It's about ‘loving each other’ as a verb. That means actively doing something for it every day, just like we do at work or in sports. There is no ‘secret recipe’, but this is our strength: listening attentively and having good conversations, in order to bring emerging needs, views and emotions into the relationship and discuss them. I am convinced that the decisive basis even begins earlier. Only if each person is consciously connected and satisfied with herself/himself, both partners can become and develop even better together.

Tina Burkhardt & Tobias Burkhardt

What exactly do you do?

With our SHIFTSCHOOL, we built Germany’s first Academy for Digital Transformation 5 years ago. It’s a school for people who really want to make a difference in uncertain and turbulent times and are ready to question themselves and the status quo. Our ultimate goal is to turn people not into better machines, but into better leaders. In our programs, our participants learn to use their human creativity to rethink leadership, in order to finally bring about the change we want to see in the world.

What she/he can do better than me

HE: Tina has a different view on things. First of all, she sees people's fears and wishes. Therefore, she tries above all to convey the human side of transformation to help people who have had little to do with technology so far, in order to take away their fears and assure them that everything can be learned. Instead of just looking at what is right and important, she has a good sense of what a community needs in order to function sustainably: security, respect and fun in the process of change.

SHE: Tobias is an incredibly strategic, quick thinker, he's incredibly creative, and above all – a visionary. When he reads, listens, observes or discusses something, he immediately makes an amazing number of connections and forms it into a big picture. I think he sometimes despairs a little with me and the people around him, because we just can't keep up with him 😉. He is also the world's best bedtime story reader for his daughters, cooks much better and with much more passion than I do and goes through everything he has set out to do – without any ifs and buts.

Biggest friction points

HE: Although we have become much better at separating private and professional life, it is still a great challenge for both of us. We have worked with a lot of passion and personal commitment to build up SHIFTSCHOOL. Because we both enjoy our work so much, we have often not been able to stop the shop talk in the evenings and on weekends. It’s very important for our family, but also has an effect on our job for us to separate it more consistently. While we used to think that more was always better, we are getting more comfortable with saying no and taking the necessary time out to have the mental and physical energy for new ideas.

SHE: Definitely our very different views and approaches and our life as a patchwork family. I am someone who reacts strongly to outside commitments, has little accountability of her own and jumps more generally from topic to topic and from task to task. Others always come first. Tobias is the opposite. He questions exactly WHY something is like it is and whether it makes sense to do something – no matter who wants it from him. He also has a high degree of accountability towards himself and our company. And in a patchwork family with three daughters, there's always a lot of discussion and compromise. Sometimes it works for the better – sometimes for the worse.

Why we are (nevertheless) a great team

HE: We complement each other very well. We have contrasting personalities, but I believe that transformative issues benefit us both. We have been very successful in using our varied strengths to create a completely different Academy, which is unique precisely because both Tina and I were able to leave our mark on it. Humanity and future orientation are a good mixture if you want to teach 21st Century skills. But we only succeed in this because we have exactly the same values and share a great passion for learning.

SHE: We have gone through so many ups and downs together over the last 10 years that it has brought us closer in an incredible way. And as much as our differences can often be exhausting, we appreciate exactly this combination. If we argue, which is quite common with our temperaments, everything is quickly sorted out, everyone explains their point of view and then it's done. We can also laugh with and about each other, because we have learned that we should not take ourselves too seriously.

How to transform a marriage/relationship

HE: By planning less, trying a lot, just doing things and keeping a certain lightness, even in difficult times. Just like in business, we must constantly question ourselves personally, learn and develop together. In fact, there are many parallels to what we want to teach our Transformation Managers. A marriage only works well if you have a common vision of life, trust each other unconditionally and, at the same time, take responsibility. Exactly these points are also the cornerstones of future-oriented leadership. It is never the methods or the technologies that make something successful or make it fail, but the ‘in-between’ that arises when people meet. You have to take care of that, the rest comes naturally.

SHE: Just like in learning in general – by having shared experiences and then thinking about them, especially about yourself and your behavior. By really listening to the other person, observing what is important to them, talking to each other a lot. In addition to all the duties that family and job entail, always staying interested in the other person and making an effort to keep the relationship going. This is often very exhausting in everyday life. But I can see it's worth it, when one of us has ‘given it a push’ and surprises the other. You need an idea of where you still want to go in life as a couple and that you don't fool each other at this point.